[Click If You Hate Yourself]

I don't even want to know where this came from. I don't even remember where I found it, but the fact of the matter is I did. Also, as any other person would do, I had to share this pain with everyone else? Why? Because I had to waste my time and mind on this, and so will you okay? (Also, you are now breathing manually. And I am an a**hole)

I understand that we live in a society now that creates overnight sensations, viral videos whatever, about the dumbest things. But seriously, watch that video and I assure you you will most likely be emulating a ":O" emoticon whilst screaming, either out loud or in your head, the words:

"WHAT. THE. F***. IS. THIS."

 I have to let it out so I'm going to rant everything I can about this.... this... you know even I'm not comfortable typing that many curse words so I'll just begin if you don't mind?

 The Intro:

Yes, I agree. That was f'ing creepy. I love being greeted by a terribly horrific facsimile of Rebecca Black going "yeah, yeah" with someone in the background going "ah,ah,ah,ah,ah-who givesaf***" I mean seriously, am I the only person who found that disturbing? That's the kind of s**t that would make Chucky stare and go "Boy, that's kinda creepy."

"Dude, seriously..."

Also, this is where you are first introduced to her voice, if you can call it that.

Cereal!!!!:

This is the part you are drifted off into a wonderful land of happiness and magic that is her songwriting. She is a true blue lyrical wordsmith if ever there was one! Holy crap she's gotta get her bowl! She's gotta get her cereal. Yup. Deep man, deep. You just don't get it.

As a side note: Why in the hell did she bother saying she was going to the bus stop? I mean really, she mentioned it, said she "gotta catch my bus" and then just jumped in the car with her friends.

"Wait, let me get this straight, you thought this was a place where you get a bus?"

Also, it is clear here that she is quite special... I mean really, which seat DO you take? It is THAT important to know.

Watch out for the part where she stares at the camera and just goes: "Fun, fun, fun, fun." It brings to mind the ventriloquist dummies from those Goosebump books.

Rebecca Black Teaches Us How to Tell the Date:

This part of the video absolutely blew my mind! I was ashamed to admit I never learned how to tell what day of the week it was. I am proud to inform you all now that whenever you ask me what day it is I'll no longer have to tell you that earlier that day I consumed a 5 peso burrito from Mang Jose's Special Alleyway Burrito Corner and must run along to find the nearest bathroom. (or hole, whichever is more convenient) So remember kids, sing-a-long time! Yesterday was Thursday! Today is Friday! [P.S. Partyin'] Tomorrow is Saturday. And holy sh*t, Sunday comes after!

Oh wait. She didn't mention the other days... Ah f***. Good Evening Mang Jose.

"You would like very much the special sauce, yes? Hmm?"

Random Black Man Time:

Don't you know? Everything needs to have a black man now to be politically correct.

"You knew this was coming"

And with that, Rebecca Black drives the video home, regaling us with her wonderful chorus again.

And again.

And again.

Fried Eggs.

Fried Eggs.

...... *sob*, Fried Eggs.

Killmenow, please, Fried Eggs.... Fried Eggs....

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Image Sources:
1.) http://moodypanties.wordpress.com/2010/05/11/chucky-is-back-in-kuwait/
2.) http://radaris.com/p/Jose/Yan/
3.) http://tv.alumniroundup.com/?p=219

You would think that it wouldn't be good but you'd be surprised what you can find in a massive tent bazaar reminiscent of flea markets. Surprising things include: a dessert place that seems to deep fry whatever you want; some of the best chicken wings I've ever had; a hotdog that seems overloaded and dangerous even for me and your standard barbecue places.

Now I generally don't recommend leaving your house at 11:30 at night to go out spree eating. The keyword, however, is generally. Besides, I prepared, I didn't eat anything past 11:30 AM anyways. (That's 12 hours! You observant person you, give yourself a hug! Needless to say, I did it anyways. (Thanks Mike for driving. That wouldn't have been a good idea.)

Wait, I'm getting off course. Anyways! Back to the chicken.

When we arrived there, Mercato or something, I was quite surprised to see it built the way it was. In my head I was thinking more of a hole in the street diner or something where they serve good food. (No seriously someone tell me why small ass diners seem to have the best food. Really.) But anyways! I shrugged it off and just sought out the store/stand/whateveryouwanttocallit because damn I was hungry and my friend Benjamin said they were supposedly the best.

It was.

The stand was called "Manang's", and yeah it sounds kind of weird but hey what're you going to do? Good food is good food and damn that was. The menu is very limited, i.e. chicken that was either not spicy, slightly spicy or satantookashitinmymouth spicy. [Note: I have no idea about that last one, but I like assuming] Besides that, they also offered it with rice or mashed potato... Oh, and they also had pandan iced tea.

I pretty much devoured the 6 pieces with rice on the spot, so of course, I ate another one. They were indeed excellent, put as much sauce as you can, seriously. The chicken wings were crunchy and soft and the sauce is just... well, you're going to have to try it yourself.

I'm not kidding. If you're bored, go get some food. Be nice to yourself. Go out and get some chicken. From Manangs... in a tent... in Fort... at midnight. Yeah, this is really falling apart, but no go do it.

You won't regret it.

Until you go to the toilet the next morning.

[P.S Deep Fried Snickers Bars are going to be the death of me]