This is an introductory course to procra-

Oh who the hell are you kidding? I just needed a title and you're plenty experienced. Please don't even bother denying it. Let's get straight down to business shall we?

In a true procrastinator's fashion, I am writing this blog instead of working on
a.) A group work involving using a hodgepodge of letters to compose an inspirational statement.
(Sorry Charles and Jaime :D)
Some of Jaime's attempts:
I PLAY WITH MYSELF VERY WELL
and
I AM LATE SINCE THE DRIVER DIDN'T ARRIVE. I CAN'T DRIVE.

This is what he meant by "playing with himself"... Right?

and
b.) A pre-lab for an experiment that I will do later and probably fall asleep at 1 AM or something and look back on this moment as time well wasted.

Oh well!!!

Class is in session; here are some offerings that will guide you on your path to successful procrastinating....-ing. Yeah, that sounds good.
*******************************************************************
[1] The Nyan Cat

What. The. Ooooohh....

Since this is the thing that derailed me tonight and successfully placed me on the path of no return, it is only fitting that this entry would start off your journey to!

When you open this link, your emotions will be quickly suckerpunched as you go from "What the hell" to "Oh hey that's kinda cute" to "HOLY SHIT I CAN'T STOP LISTENING TO IT IS THAT A POPTART OH MY GOD IM HUNGRY WHY CAN'T I STOP LOOKING AT IT I MEAN THE MUSIC TOTALLY LOOPED ALREADY AND....."

Two words: Nyan Cat. Love it.

*******************************************************************
[2]  The Oatmeal

Less This

More This

Ever wondered what it would be like if a grammatically correct, random ass artist (probably high on crack himself); smartass and web designer got together and decided to share whatever crap he pulled out of his ass that morning on the internet?

This.

I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have read and re-read the entire website over and over. It is ridiculous just how many hours you can waste on his comics. Where else can you find a site that can teach you grammar, shit about beer and ridiculously cute (and disturbing) comics about cats? If you can find another one, please tell me. I still have a few hours lying around.

In the meantime, click that link. I don't give a flying fuc......shin dye if you have a report due tomorrow, you will read those comics and cram! Cram baby!

*******************************************************************
[3] 9GAG

DO I REALLY NEED TO CAPTION THIS? COME ON!!!!

This website is an orgy of comics, funny pictures, photoshopped crap, fails and whatever else you can think of!

Think of it like tumblr, except with a lot less naked men and a whole lot more funny. (Unless you get your jollies off to naked men in which case I do not judge you. That much.) [Also I have no idea if this is really how tumblr works, would be nice if I did some research but screw that.]

This is one of the most excellent derailers of homeworkings or reportings or whateverings that I have ever been to! I should know because instead of studying, I spent 3 hours on this website browsing comics by a certain person whom I have forgotten but if I find it again I'll definitely waste another 3! It's excellent because if you happen to fancy a certain person's works then you just have to click on his name and find more posts by him/her/it/omfgitscomingthisway.

Click.
*******************************************************************
[4] Sleep

I don't really have to type anything here.... Right?

Lalalalalalala! Free space! Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Here's a required picture of something adorable

*******************************************************************

Well! That's about all I have to say for now. Who knows, I might make more supplements in the future. Depends on my workload really. Meaning if I have a workload, I'll make another one. I think.

I'm lazy.

I'll do it next week.

P.S. Procrastinating Like a Boss ^
P.P.S. I hope I wasted your time.



*******************************************************************
Image Sources:
1.) http://www.toyday.co.uk/shop/wooden-toys/cup-and-ball/prod_525.html
2.) http://www.ufunk.net/en/musique/nyan-cat-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-moi-je-connais-une-chanson-qui-%C3%A9nerve-les-gens/
3.) http://www.thefoodenquirer.com/2011/02/oatmeal-a-great-way-to-start-your-day/
4.) http://www.buzzfeed.com/digg/5-super-neat-ways-to-use-a-hooker-the-oatmeal
5.) http://9gag.com/
6.) http://losangeles.olx.com/cute-and-adorable-alaskan-malamute-puppy-iid-19455076

I just woke up from a really messed up dream. It was messed up because it was awesome, I mean like really awesome. I'm typing it now, like 5 minutes from when I woke up, just to make sure I can still remember the details. It sucks because there were two of them and I can only vividly remember the first one. So if you don't mind, I'm just going to jump right into it, before I forget anything else.

Ever watched one of those nature documentary shows? Yeah, it was kind of like that. Except it was combined with Bear Grylls. Yeah, you know that guy that ate a turtle or whatever. See, I wasn't actually in the dream; it was as if I were watching it through the television. Let me paint the scene.

"I just ate your mom."

I didn't actually find it weird while I was "watching" the show (as none of us find it weird while we are in the dream), but now that I think about it, the setting was quite odd. It was like a lake, a giant body of water in front of a vast expanse of green behind it. If it will help you imagine, think of it like a beach except with a flat grassland instead of a shore. Also in view of the "shot" was a hill. I don't know why, but in my mind I had to point out that hill was there, it was important. (Actually it wasn't)

"Shit just got real"

Here's where things get f*cked up. I said it was like Bear Grylls for two reasons:
1.) There were bears in it
2.) There were two guys hunting it in the most disturbing way I can think of

Okay, guys hunting bears. I know what you're thinking, "Gee, that's not messed up at all". Bear with me. (See what I did there?)

"Plz dun eat me, I is not food"

So these two guys, with Australian accents of course, were talking to me about hunting bears for food. So I followed them around for a bit. (omniscient view ftw) I can't actually remember what they look like or what they said, but I do remember their weapon of choice. It was a f*cking saw. I don't even know the proper name to call it. Do you know what those loggers use to cut down trees? The ones you need two people, one on either end to use?

Yeah, it didn't strike me the least bit odd. Moving right along, they eventually found two bears. A pretty big male and actually an equally big female. Now if it already didn't strike me odd that these guys were planning to essentially saw a goddamn bear in half; these bears were swimming in the lake. They wasted no time in jumping in and chasing them down.

"With one of these."

These guys didn't even work together, the first bear that fell was the female one. So, yeah, essentially bloodbath, bloodbath and more..... what the f*ck did he just do? Did he just cut a hole in one of the bears and did he just..? What is THAT?

Okay, apparently I know nothing about harvesting food in the wild. The guy who killed the female bear pulled out these brown balls, about the size of his palm out of a hole he cut in her. He was terribly excited and talking about "food source" and "excellent". I switched the view over to the other guy targetting the male bear, he had about 7 or 8 of such balls come out of the male bear. It looked like they were harvesting coffee balls or something.

"Think more like this; Less Scrotum sacks."

Coffee balls. From holes cut out of bears. That they hunted. In the water. With logging saws.

Yeah, no more ice cream before bed time for me.

P.S. Bet you said "D'aww" when you saw the polar bear cub.
*******************************************************************
Image Sources:
1.) http://mamapop.com
2.) http://trevor-hopkins.org.uk/travelogues/lake-district.html
3.) http://www.e-forwards.com/2010/12/funny-animals-and-winter/cute-polarbear-cub-winter/
4.) http://www.thecakeandtheknife.com/2011/01/can-buy-me-love-aka-kingsleys-steak.html